Clean up.

Everybody, everywhere.

One of my wishlist items for Christmas was Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. Opening it was certainly one of the highlights of my day, although I knew that tidying would consume the rest of my Christmas break. (I’d like to say that it’s because once I start, I can’t stop, but actually it’s because once I start, I need to take a break, have a cup of coffee, browse the internet, cook a five-course meal… you know.)

I headed off to Lowe’s yesterday morning to lose my mind buying storage  (Buy a big tub, get a little tub free?! I’m in!) even though that’s not necessarily part of the KonMari method. Kondo advises against having multiple storage spaces and avoiding the “seasonal wardrobe,” but these were two things that needed to happen in this house. Honestly, between the two of us (and, let’s face it, Lucy’s stuff), it’s impossible to store everything within reach. I also was curious about implementing the concept of a capsule wardrobe and thought I might feel better taking that leap if I could store my spring/summer stuff elsewhere.

The toughest thing for me was getting rid of things (and here I thought it would be getting on board with folding my socks and underwear). Kondo recommends handling each piece of clothing and asking yourself whether or not it brings you joy. This was a shift in thinking for me since I usually consider whether I’ve worn an item in the last 6 months to a year or whether I have things in my closet to go with it. For instance, I’ve been hanging on to about 5 sleeveless dress tops that I swore I would wear with all of the cardigans I have hanging in my closet, but I’ve maybe worn them once or twice in the last two years. They didn’t bring me joy, so the went into the donation bin along with other items that have just been taking up space in hopes that one day I might want to wear them. I started with the easy stuff – the sleeveless tops, the too-short/too-thin sweaters, item after item falling into the bin.

Then it got tough.

(Disclaimer: The following paragraph is a total first-world problem and, honestly, I’m kind of ashamed and embarrassed that I had this type of reaction to clearing out some of my stuff.)

There were two items in my closet that I was REALLY struggling with. One was a greyish-blue sweatshirt from Athleta that I purchased maybe a year ago. I loved the way the neck funneled and it had thumb holes (!) and pockets. I wore it maybe four times because it was so short and it picked up every speck of dog hair floating around. Regardless of how many times I washed it, it just wouldn’t disappear. I struggled and struggled with this… I was so excited the day I bought it and I loved the style of it, but it didn’t make me happy when I wore it. If I wanted a sweatshirt or a hoodie to wear, I went for about five other things before I picked that out.

The second was a zip-up North Face that my grandmother got me for Christmas maybe two or three years ago. It was super warm, a combination of pink and maroon, but, like the Athleta sweatshirt, it picked up every bit of hair and I couldn’t wash it enough to get rid of the hair. It hung on the back of the door to the second bedroom and the last time I wore it, I went skiing and it was too short even then.

These two items sat on the bed for the entire day… a good five hours of tidying until I finally decide it was time to let them go. They had served their purpose, but they no longer made me happy. In the bin they went.

This morning, I stopped to drop off four bags of unwanted clothing and as I grabbed the bag holding these two sweatshirts, I nearly had tears in my eyes throwing it in the bin. I wanted to pull them out and swear that I would wear them every. single. day. I had to remind myself that I have items hanging in my closet that I really do love and they will make me much happier.

Down the chute they went.

Hell, I struggled with donating Lucy’s clothes that I’d make her wear when she was much, much younger (and much, much smaller). I felt like getting rid of these was like getting rid of a piece of her. But again, they had served their purpose and it was another dog’s turn to enjoy them.

It makes me sick that I have that much attachment to things. Beyond learning to live with only what I need, I really need to start taking into consideration how much I genuinely love something when I purchase it. If I feel like I would be okay with letting it go if I cleaned the closet out again in a year, I need to leave it in the store and let it make someone else happy.

I will say… I feel much lighter having cleared out so much stuff. I feel like I’ll be less likely to “lose” my clothes and feel like I have nothing to wear now that I know that every single thing hanging in my closet makes me feel good when I wear it.

And to be honest… how can you not feel put-together knowing that your socks, underwear, and bras are all folded neatly in your underwear drawer?!