Last night, I started to get wrapped up in a Facebook argument on the page of someone who used to be one of my very best friends. I spent a good hour crafting a response to this ridiculous argument and then realized that if I posted my response, I would now be the ridiculous one. I deleted everything I wrote, then decided to unfriend the old friend and her husband who were both spewing ignorance on this page.

I don’t have anything against people having differing opinions. In fact, that’s what’s awesome about my friends — we don’t necessarily always share the same feelings on things, but we can discuss it like adults and love each other regardless. However, as I contemplated posting my response, I realized that I haven’t actually spoken to this person in nearly two years, despite being the maid of honor in her wedding just a few years back. There was never a falling out, just the observance of a change from the outside looking in, and clearly a change that left me on the outside.

I realized last night that the only reason I visit her Facebook page is to find something to be pissed off about — a picture swiped from the internet posed as her own, the sharing of a quote that I’ve seen on another page but posted as though it were her own clever dialogue. I never went to find anything positive, to find a glimmer of the friendship that used to be. I never commented, I never liked anything, I just fueled my own Fire of Bitch.

As I looked at this last night, I decided that my New Year’s resolution this year is to drop the bullshit from the life. I had a long conversation with a good friend on the way home from a wedding this weekend about how our friendships have changed as we’ve gotten older. I shared with her a quote I had seen this week that basically said that if you aren’t losing friendships as you get older, you aren’t growing. I kept thinking about this as my finger hovered over post and I realized that, perhaps, this is just one of those “friendships” I need to lose on my journey.